Lesbians are gay too!

I realize that the majority of homophobia is from the male perspective - the fear of gay men and probably anal sex - although I'm honestly not 100% sure of the underlying issues. However, I am so tired - so sick of - being ignored as a gay woman! If we're not discriminated against, we're the subjects of male fantasies - although not really women like me, the more masculine type of lesbian. I don't know which is worse - the discriminiation or straight male fantasies!

I'm writing this blog post because of, yet another, homophobic line of reasoning put forth in a question to Ted Olson, one of the Plaintiff Attorneys for the Federal Unconstitutionality of California's Prop 8 case, by the anti-marriage equality group ironically called the National Organization for Marriage (NOM):

"Do you really believe that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and that gender is irrelevant to parenting? If gender is really irrelevant, why do self-described “gays” insist on having a male sex partner? Why isn’t a really masculine woman just as acceptable as a male sex partner?"

Well, actually, some gay men do like masculine women - I've been hit on by more gay men at clubs than gay women! (I hope that's because women just don't hit on anyone as much as men do!) Not all gays "insist" on having a male sex partner! I insist on having a female sex partner - but more than just a sex partner - a loving partner!

Strangely, I find it offensive that all over the media the most common homophobic remarks and blatant fears are regarding gay men and not gay women/lesbians. Obviously, the homophobic remarks are offensive all in and of themselves - but I guess my point is about how everything's from the male perspective. I also think that if straight men can understand how women can be gay (maybe because they are less afraid of women or threatened by their sex), maybe they could then also understand gay men in the same way that they understand gay women and realize it's not about sex - it's about a loving relationship that does not threaten them, their masculinity or their sexuality! If anything, straight men should be thankful for the existence of gay men - it reduces the size of the male pool of heterosexuals without reducing the female pool! Straight men should feel more threatened by lesbians cause we do deplete the female pool for heterosexual men! But really, neither of us do because the pool size of heterosexuals is always the same since if we're hooking up with them then they aren't heterosexuals!!

An honest view of sex from this lesbian

This is my first post. As such, I thought the topic of sex would be rather intriguing enough.

It is not hard to like sex when it feels good and when feeling that good is easy. However, probably as a woman and not having such a large, and readily accessible sexual organ, it is not always so easy. Sure, it's a mixture of hormones, neurotransmitters, blood supply, knowledge of anatomy and the sensations that are related to anatomy, but it is also something more than that (although maybe not to men, I really can't say.) Sex with others is work. Masturbation is like brushing one's own teeth - it's so much easier to brush your own teeth than to have someone else do it. Yet, sex with another has its own perks, I guess, except for the extra work. I have a hard time getting over the work part unless I'm really attracted to the other.

Then there's the idea of attraction. Why are we attracted to who we are attracted to? Why does one person make my insides do a fluttery-flip, while another barely registers as anything? Why am I attracted to women much more often than men? This unknown only irritates me because I am rarely attracted to people and therefore I am rarely up for having sex with someone else, even though I really like sex when it feels good. But I really dislike it when it feels more like work than pleasure.

Sometimes I am ashamed that I am not into sex with more people more often. Sometimes I feel like there might be something wrong with me. But I can get off - I do this all the time when I masturbate. Sometimes I masturbate several times a day, and I don't even need to be thinking of anyone in particular (in fact, it's better if I don't.) I wish I could say it is normal, but I don't know for sure. I guess it's not a problem, really, except that I am still single and have not come across someone who is my match - in this way or in any other way, really. So I am left to wonder...to wonder if I am alone like this or not.