The Reasons

I want to drink or smoke weed right now. Why?

Because I'm bored.

Because I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.

Because I feel on the brink of sadness, depression.

Because I don't know what to do with myself except chores or work - stuff that doesn't feel good.

Because I can't run due to a foot injury. And even if I could, I'd probably not be as good at it as I'd think I should be and feel badly about myself.

Because I'm not in a band and cannot seem to write a complete song anymore. And my playing isn't as good as I think it should be, anyway.

Because I have nothing I feel like talking about with anyone.

Because I'm alone.

Because I'll be alone tomorrow still.

Because I don't know if I'll ever not be alone.

Because I'm bored.