So far away

Twenty years have gone by and I don't feel much different.

I can't fight it, it seems. As far as I get, like the recoil on a stretched rubber band, I fly that much faster right back from whence I came.

I cannot take part in the purposeful destruction of myself. I promised myself and others, but I don't feel any different - I still want to crawl into the nothingness in which I feel I am already. Instead, like a sore that just won't go away, I am still here, growing uglier and more painful each day.

No one's going to rescue me. That is pure fantasy.

I'm just looking for one or two real people who know the truth, or at least don't deny it when they see it.

I'm tired of regurgitated slogans.

After all the love I've given and continue to give, trying my hardest but right now I'm feeling its loss...why am I still so alone?

I thought I'd come so far. But now I've found myself lost again.

So far away from love.